Time to think

I realized after a few days that it had been a long time since I was truly alone with my thoughts. As an only child, I grew up very comfortable with the idea (and fact) of being by myself. As an adult, I always lived alone (with the exception of 1 semester in college) until I met my husband 10 years ago. Even now, I can vividly recall how alien it felt to share my space when we first moved in with each other. Therefore, it was rather startling to realize 13 years had passed since I had taken a solo vacation and it was no longer easy just to be by myself.

I distracted myself by reading magazines, then a book, then making lists about the things I wanted to do/change after I left the spa (did I mention I was type-A?)--anything to avoid truly thinking about what I really felt or wanted out of my life.

I can't say I solved it all in one spa week, but some things became clear:

• I needed to prioritize my health and fitness, not just my work. While I will always be motivated by career success, I absolutely need to put my health higher up on the list.
• I wanted more depth in my relationships. I realized that while there are a lot of people who know me, they don't really know me, or vice-versa. I'm not saying that every current acquaintance will cross over into true friendship, however there are some people that I have begun to get to know over the past 5 years that I would really like to know better--I just hadn't made the time.
• I needed to relax about things more. I'm what one would call a "planner" and my tendency toward perfectionism (while usually directed at myself) doesn't always allow me just to take things as they come.
• While I was not sure what my next career move would be, I would like to try to attain the ever-elusive "work/life balance".

Like I said, I didn't solve everything in one spa week, but it was a start...